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Deviant for 4 Years
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Literature
Memory run away
1.
Don't let memory run away with you
and make moments of loss not true
dreams of joy may turn to ash
and the mistakes you've made to few
It's not lies that protect, but joy:
no need to run away, but employ
six senses to know the woman
you're becoming from the boy.
2.
I was all hung up before
hidden all in fakery and gore;
so, unsure I'll not pretend:
I'm new to being girl-friend.
So new to being a woman
the reaches I'm trying to find
of my heart so human,
and how to make up my mind.
Testosterone and lies an evil mix
Years of misery with but one fix
Let me join with you girls
Dance arms linked in great whirls
I'm so new in this air
let me be your new friend
Our hearts we might share
We've good messages to send
3.
My path is all that's certain:
Only truth will I be blurtin'
with you I would be flirtin'
flinging aside so every curtain
Steady hand and brightest eyes
The time is short ere spirit flies
Looking for you in my surprise
Find me before one of us dies!
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0
Literature
Return Michigan
I am a Trans Woman.
Joys of two eyes blazing
Seeing another biggest fear:
Not beaten or killed,
But Lesbian standing
outside a Wymyn's place
Where some don't want me.
I am a darkness, an illness
I can not belong.
My friends may, my love,
I will not enter, nor
Will it be punishment
Awaiting your return.
Find fault if you must;
My life is where
All the places and times,
The needs, yours and mine,
Touch me.
They are women
They deserve everything
All the freedom from fear
All the time to learn or not
Millenia, generations, a lifetime
One in three is raped!
Cry havoc, but let them be,
Let them be.
Life is mine, who ever me:
I'll be me over here.
And, I will make no more fear!
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 1
Literature
And spend time
And would you swallow me whole?
And I await your satisfaction?
The wide seas of time tick ticking away
all made moot.
All made a dream we wend from and our
  language is different, now
so whole and so much in need
we heal day by day, those
 little discoveries and self disclosures,
almost without meaning to anyone else.
No zero sum but ashes to dust
from which now growth as only hope,
we hope -
whole years pass without a touch:
tongues and lips caress and waste -
do you make a dream of us
and taste good, drip, drip from your mouth
molten sand.
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0
Literature
Wish I was there
I wish you be well, for me
I wish I was there;
And for the hell of it:
I wish I was there
with you looking forward
to feeling well,
rubbing Vicks and making soup
and being very quiet.
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0
Literature
30 Minutes At the Mountains of Gladness
When you reached across
That healing wound the world
All over you (or is it, she wondered),
Such delight, such surprise
In your tea and spaceships
Cthulhu and Feynman;
I was gone head over –
An ancient response – Sanskrit
On my accelerando heart.
Our distance slipped briefly
But my naiveté and recovery
Made you careful, drawing
Our distance like a cloak;
You priced the tolls
And held the door, taking
My heels one by one, so gently
Placing them just thus.
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0
Literature
Wisdom
Some shit-head said with elision:
A mistake made twice is a decision.
But, it's the lot of our race
to proceed each at our pace,
So I flick boogers at him with precision.
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0
Literature
Untitled
Me?
I'm an ugly old broad
a bit square-jawed
with some extra added weight
too apparent a pate.
But I am a woman
By God and becomin'
all I need to be;
so I am just what you see
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0
Literature
Unentitled
I never crossed a river
as deep as you
finding the sea
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 1 2
Literature
Gangrene
I had gangrene
they had to take
it off, of course.
Transition a bleeding surfeit
for my own heart:
an open chest where
all the secrets were,
all a-blur now. You
in sharper focus
with so many people about
a folk song from the north.
Bang your drum
but finally get here;
I can show you my scar.
Winchester Dec. '15
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0
Literature
Little Teacher
I remember you, Little Teacher
I remember, dear friend
when we were so very young:
You were younger than I
And I so taken with you
Your ripening freneticity electric
like small leaves in a spring rain
so much motion, even then
I couldn't keep up, I tried:
I was young, too, but parted.
Do you remember we had sex?
-walking together after decades;
we had sex, then what?
Were you glad, sad, mad?
It was moments: you were warm
whispering furtive assurance -
to me? to you? I wanted you
and your motion, too.
Unaware your magnetic strength.
I have never forgotten either, but
nothing happened, as if it hadn't:
the walking, the laughing,
the words at night with beer,
the talks, hand holding anticipating
long life from here - time shared!
None of that happened, did it?
Is that remembering?
11/14 Aurora
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 1 0
Literature
Spirit of Rain
What do you want?
Should I call
Should I write;
you tell me (whether
you intend or not)
neither will do.
But I still want
to want you:
your humor and pain
your spirit of rain
And I can't tell you
I won't call
I won't write:
You might run to me
like a Nurse to a wound.
You are not a Nurse
I am not a wound
05/14
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0
Literature
Childhood's End
Fun facts to know and learn:
'nuff said - so shut it!
But, there is never enough,
said the pan to the fire;
without you - only artifact
like this - first a turn of the page
            we left so long ago.
            We drove through the countryside
            wondering how we could
             be here now.
So old then.
All she hopes is the bridge:
understand and embrace the only world we know.
There is no center.
We can never go back.
You are not a cliché, but
a pathos somewhere in the Universe.
12/8/15 Peggy's
under the influence of others
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0
Literature
Untitled
I don’t know when.
Perhaps it was before you moved north:
there would never be an us
the way we launched, entwined
in wire and signal, in love and blood.
I know you’ll never tell me. Why?
Was it the previous fall, fishing?
Or later, hiking the Michigan trail north
to that place we met Liz and Connie?
We might have driven to the coast
seen the standing stones
stayed with Ian.
Now what worries have I asking.
Now that you are you and I am her
No need to reach back to wonder
we move on.
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0
Literature
Untitled
She came over me like epiphany
and all I have done - or undone
             seems wrong
She had the sea in her left eye
and the sky in her right
and she touched me as both
             we took flight
I wondered at the air
she marveled at the sky
I'm hoping she's up here somewhere
as I learn to fly
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 1 0
Literature
the forgotten
Do you remember that
you put a curse on me?
Back then as we debarked
from the reedy shore
from the waterfall nights
from nonrequited heights
not knowing we would
never see you again.
He always believed
that it worked - what
a curse to believe in you.
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 2 0
Literature
Untitled
We’ve ridden our little fete
to this calamitous end
as dead and directionless as a 7th novel
in a six novel series.
And we’re tip-toeing away so
we won’t disturb each other
though both we’ve said so many times
are we disturbed at all?
“I’ll miss you,” comes from my mouth,
though I know you were gone
long before leaving as echo
Your wonderful voice scraping
the ventricles of my shrinking heart
:iconMirrorfish:Mirrorfish
:iconmirrorfish:Mirrorfish 0 0

Favourites

PTSD 1 :iconasp-in-the-garden:Asp-in-the-Garden 19 4 eclipse-cocoon-consumation :iconasp-in-the-garden:Asp-in-the-Garden 10 7
Literature
Missing You
No matter where my life leads.
No matter what I do.
If I´m happy or feeling sad,
I´ll still be missing you.
Some days my feelings take me over.
Some days I just feel blue.
You´re ever present in my thoughts
and still I´m missing you.
My heart is now so empty
but it beats and beats anew,
until my last and dying breath.
I´ll go on missing you.
10th May 2016
:iconSupach:Supach
:iconsupach:Supach 114 89
Literature
families are forever
the love that entwines us
       translucent and titanium
 do not love marks of pain
             or sadness;
                          they leave memories
                      that we can call upon
                            when the day is long and gray;
                               the sweetness of your hand
                        wrapped around my thumb
                               and the music of your laughter
                           
:iconSerendiipitii:Serendiipitii
:iconserendiipitii:Serendiipitii 16 5
Literature
She drinks her whiskey straight
She drinks her whiskey straight
like her daddy did—it makes
her feel close to him.
He left during the winter.
She sits where he used to
every afternoon,
watching the setting sun
bring cold days to their end.
Blanket bunched
around her shoulders,
she drowns herself,
the silence carrying
her daddy’s voice.
:iconTheEmptyChest:TheEmptyChest
:icontheemptychest:TheEmptyChest 23 15
Literature
Golden Field of Sadness
Golden Field of Sadness  1/25/14
There she stands in a golden field of wheat,
hands spread - her face raised to the shining moon.
She embraces the rain that slides down her cheeks
and falls lightly on her long hair of bright yellow.
It is straight and lustrous as it clings to her skin.
Her eyes are wild and crazed.
Pain wracks her body in wave after
wretched wave. This world has broken her.
She wishes to drown in this saturated air.
She screams into the night as a cloud
covers the glowing face of the moon.
Through her sadness, somehow I see a vibrant life.
I feel the fullness of her light.
I watch her from a distance longing to ease
her anguish but unsure as to how.
Oh, that dress looks so nice on her.
Does she even see me?
Could I ever comfort her?
Make her forget the past?
She drops to her knees and pounds
the soaked ground. And her tears
blend in with the rain and my heart melts.
I have to try to end her fears
and shelter her from the bitter years.
To end her pain becomes my ai
:iconshep4life:shep4life
:iconshep4life:shep4life 33 100
Agressor :iconnova29r:NovA29R 46 3

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Activity


1.
Don't let memory run away with you
and make moments of loss not true
dreams of joy may turn to ash
and the mistakes you've made to few

It's not lies that protect, but joy:
no need to run away, but employ
six senses to know the woman
you're becoming from the boy.

2.
I was all hung up before
hidden all in fakery and gore;
so, unsure I'll not pretend:
I'm new to being girl-friend.

So new to being a woman
the reaches I'm trying to find
of my heart so human,
and how to make up my mind.

Testosterone and lies an evil mix
Years of misery with but one fix
Let me join with you girls
Dance arms linked in great whirls

I'm so new in this air
let me be your new friend
Our hearts we might share
We've good messages to send

3.
My path is all that's certain:
Only truth will I be blurtin'
with you I would be flirtin'
flinging aside so every curtain

Steady hand and brightest eyes
The time is short ere spirit flies
Looking for you in my surprise
Find me before one of us dies!
I am a Trans Woman.
Joys of two eyes blazing
Seeing another biggest fear:
Not beaten or killed,
But Lesbian standing
outside a Wymyn's place
Where some don't want me.

I am a darkness, an illness
I can not belong.

My friends may, my love,
I will not enter, nor
Will it be punishment
Awaiting your return.
Find fault if you must;
My life is where
All the places and times,
The needs, yours and mine,
Touch me.

They are women
They deserve everything
All the freedom from fear
All the time to learn or not
Millenia, generations, a lifetime
One in three is raped!
Cry havoc, but let them be,
Let them be.
Life is mine, who ever me:
I'll be me over here.
And, I will make no more fear!